Other people don’t care about your problems, they care about their own. Start there.
Easy to state, yet so hard to do. Why? Because we’re all worried about our own problems, not the other person’s!
Specific example: every time I have to go through a pile of resumes, they’re inevitably attached to cover letters describing what the applicant wants. “I would like to work for a leading firm like yours, bla bla bla.” Well, actually, I don’t care what you want! I don’t even know you! And I have a zillion things to do, but my boss has asked me to go through these resumes and see which of these people we should bring on site. The last thing I want to read about is what some dorky job applicant wants.
Carnegie’s model of the successful cover letter takes the perspective of the addressee: “I’m sure my 200 years of experience in splorch protection and gizmodo processing would be of interest to a firm like yours. I’d like us to meet and discuss how I can help you increase your ROI by more effective flubber management.” Instead of groaning, the recipient is thinking, “Wow! This guy has actually taken the time to understand what’s important to us.”
Modify as required for your situation. Whether you’re hawking widgets or websites, starting from the perspective of the problem the other guy is trying to solve is more effective than starting from the perspective of what you’re trying to sell. Suppressing the impulse to gratify your own ego and instead gratify the other guy’s instead is unnatural, awkward and highly profitable. Do it.
